How comfortable are you sharing your true feelings with your partner? Test yourself to find out where you stand today—and how your relationship could improve, by swhitbo
When I am annoyed, my partner can soothe me by telling me not to worry.I look for my partner to offer me compassion when I'm upset.I look to my partner when I feel depressed just to know that I am loved.Seeing how my partner would handle the same situation helps me when I am frustrated.Find a therapist to strengthen relationships
Hoffman's original 20-item scale produced averages for each of the four scales, in order, of 3.55, 2,63, 2.97, and 3.07. The average person’s IER scores were highest in perspective-taking, meaning that having someone provide you with an objective view of your situation can help you better able manage your feelings. Unfortunately, Schodt and Mickelson did not break down the average scores based on couples into subscales.
Beyond the thought experiment of comparing your partner to other people, you can go one step further and show this scale to your partner. How supportive and helpful are you in helping your partner regulate their emotions? As Schodt and Mickelson point out, IER in a close relationship has reciprocal qualities. You may think you’re supportive of your partner’s emotional growth, but be ready and willing to see where you fall short.
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