'Listening to your parents’ advice about who to pick as a partner is not necessarily a bad thing.'
was arranged more times than I can count. In my early 20s, it was the first thing out of people’s mouths when they found out I was Muslim and newly married. I heard it from coworkers, hairdressers, and acquaintances, and it always gave me pause. I didn’t want to be associated with the stereotypes arranged marriages conjure up—the prodding parents, the exchange of dowries, the unwilling bride, and the pitiable loveless life.
I’ve now been happily married for over 20 years, but the myths surrounding arranged marriages persist. I don’t want another generation of people, choosing to uphold their families’ or their cultures’ traditions, to feel as if their relationships are in any way inferior to couples who have had more typical love stories.1. An arranged marriage is not the same thing as a forced marriage..
During my engagement, I complained to my mother that my fiancé wasn’t as goal-oriented and driven as I was. My mom told me that I should be grateful. There wasn’t room for two big egos in one household. Over the years, I have come to see the wisdom of her words. One of the things I appreciate most about my spouse is that he is not motivated by a never-ending to-do list. I turn to my husband when I need a dose of perspective and someone to calm me down.
My husband and I never had to discuss whether or not we’d pick Arabic names for our children, teach our children to say their daily prayers, or spend our religious holidays at theNot only were we raised with the same religion and traditions, but we both embraced them and wanted to carry them on. As the first generation in my family to be born in the United States, this means a lot to me.
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