Advice | Ask Amy: Estranged college friends reach out before upcoming reunion

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Advice | Ask Amy: Estranged college friends reach out before upcoming reunion
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Advice: The sorority sisters who dropped the letter writer reach out before their college reunion.

Apparently, they resented my leaving because I had been the linchpin that held the five of us together. At graduation, we had agreed to meet and introduce each other to our parents and family. The three never showed, nor did they try to contact me to explain or to say goodbye. They just vanished. I remember feeling hurt at the time but moved on with my life.

I never heard from them again until recently. Two of the three contacted me to see whether I was planning to attend our 45th reunion, as if nothing had happened. I kept my response light and friendly but made it clear that I had no plans to attend. My two closest college friends are not going either.Although I forgive these women, I do not trust them. I feel that if we got together to renew our relationship, I would need to confront them over how they had hurt me.

I applaud your willingness to forgive these three, and your story illustrates perfectly the truism that forgiveness is a liberating virtue. But forgetting? That is another matter.I am going through a bit of a crisis. Shortly before my mother died of cancer last year, she kept a diary detailing in graphic detail about how awful I was and how hard it was dealing with my outbursts, which, I had to admit, were pretty brutal.

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