Advice | Carolyn Hax: How to process the grief of losing two beloved pets

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: How to process the grief of losing two beloved pets
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Advice: They lost one dog to cancer and another is nearing the end. How can they move on when there’s guilt mixed into the grief?

Our other dog also has cancer but is bravely holding on. He is getting treatment, but I don’t expect he’ll be with us much longer. We will probably have to decide that it’s time for him based on his quality of life in the next couple months.

He was diagnosed first, and I might have made different, more aggressive treatment choices in the beginning with him if I’d known our other dog was going to rapidly leave us. How do I move on from this? When I think about losing him too, I want to give away all my belongings and go live under a boardwalk somewhere.It’ll just be me and my husband in this house when he’s gone, and I know I can get another pet, but I just don’t want to. My heart is broken. I know it’s all a normal part of grief.

So you’ve been there for them both and that’s all we can do, to say thank you to them for how completely they are there for us. Big e-hug.: My favorite dog quote, which I found years ago on Robert Genn’s blog “The Painter’s Keys,” is, “All dog stories begin with laughter and end in tears.” It is heartbreakingly true.

I know it’s disturbing to think you could have done more for your remaining dog, but the outcome still could have been undesirable. You’re doing the best you can. They’d forgive you if they knew, both of them. All you can do is rejoice in the day with them. I’ve also sadly learned a week too early is better than a day too late when it comes to the vet visit.

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