After Surviving a School Shooting, How Do You Dive in Again?

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After Surviving a School Shooting, How Do You Dive in Again?
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Most American high school students fear gun violence in their halls. Keegan Gregory lived it. Last November, in Michigan, he found himself face-to-face with a school shooter. This is the story of what happened next

that Myre had tried to stop the massacre: “I was told that everybody in that school was running one way, and Tate was running the other way.”

Keegan walked out of that funeral to a life he had no chance of resuming. Forget dreams; the Gregorys couldn’t even make plans. For Christmas break, Meghan and Chad decided to drive the kids to Nashville, go to a Titans game, then surprise them with a trip to Saint Martin. But Keegan heard fireworks at the Titans game and panicked; and he saw cops in the stadium with guns in their holsters and worried somebody would steal one. The family left shortly after the opening kickoff.

Meghan and Chad raised Keegan and their other kids in Oxford—it was, they believed, the safest place they could be.The Gregorys were living on tiptoe. They adopted a second dog to keep Keegan company at night. Meghan, who usually does the grocery shopping for the family, simply stopped doing it. Chad took over and wondered whether Meghan even noticed that food kept appearing in their kitchen. It didn’t matter to Keegan. He had no appetite. He was living on a bowl of cereal a day.

Police said the shooter’s parents had bought him the gun on Black Friday. Prosecutors implied that the school was culpable: A teacher, they said, had spotted the shooter searching online for ammunition, then called his parents. Afterward, the shooter’s mom texted him:.

Some other parents did not want answers—their kids were back in school, and they didn’t want to relive the day of the shooting. Others spread ridiculous stories. Parents told Meghan and Chad that they’d heard there were actuallykids in the bathroom when the shooter walked in. Or that Keegan was in there, Justin came in, and the shooter asked who wanted to die first. “Everyone,” Chad says, “had their own version of their own truth.

Meghan and Chad would lay out a schedule for the next day, and pragmatic Keegan would agree to it. Then morning would come and he’d snap: “I never said I would do that!” He raged at any surprise, no matter how trivial. “You told me you were buying Minute brown rice!” he screamed when the wrong brand showed up in the kitchen. He was learning to drive, but he’d lost his ability to stay calm and concentrate.

Pools can be loud—boards bouncing, words echoing off walls—but diving itself gave Keegan the control he craved. If he had played a free-flowing sport like hockey or basketball, he would not have gone back. But dives are scripted and independent:Diving gave Keegan bits of what he needed: “You’re all hyping each other up, even though we’re against each other,” he says. “I love the community.”Keegan’s first meet was on a snowy day in Berkley, a Detroit suburb.

In March, Keegan went back to school during the day—for one class, with only a few students in it. He says it was O.K., because “I knew every single person since, like, kindergarten.” He got there late, left early, survived it all and decided he wouldn’t be doing that again. The sheriff was telling the world his officers were heroes. Parents were suing the school district. The district was shielding itself with lawyers. The shooter had pleaded not guilty to four counts of murder. Prosecutors charged the shooter’s parents, James and Jennifer Crumbley, with involuntary manslaughter; they also pleaded not guilty. Hana’s sister, Reina, was pushing the school to erect a permanent memorial to the victims . Keegan was seeing two therapists.

In June, Keegan went to visit his mom’s family in Ohio, and he felt freer than he had since he fled the bathroom. Then he came back home, and anxiety choked him again.He used to feel so free in his town. Now he felt trapped in it. His parents were getting increasingly frustrated with what they felt was obfuscation from the district and with the portion of the community that they thought was lying to itself.

School shootings are clearly not acceptable, yet they are just as clearly accepted. CNN found that in one stretch covering 2009 to ’18, there were 288 school shootings in the U.S. In that same time, Canada, France, Germany, Italy and the U.K. combined forAccording to the U.S. Naval Postgraduate School for Homeland Defense and Security, 110 children have been shot to death on school grounds in the last two academic years.Those are facts.

The diver sought control, and not just over a sport. Keegan started waking up early, working out five or six days a week and monitoring everything he put in his body. He cooked lean, protein-rich meals for himself and drank protein water. In the Gregorys’ kitchen this summer, Meghan casually mentioned that when Chad travels for work she stays up late and sleeps late. Keegan sternly told her to take melatonin at 10 p.m. and put her phone away.

Away from school, Keegan still made it all the way to state, where he finished 23rd in the one-meter.The Oxford school district maintains that it did all it could reasonably be expected to do. The shooter’s parents say the media and prosecutors have unfairly held them responsible for the shootings. The sheriff’s office says the shooter was arrested within five minutes of the first call for help, but the time stamps on Keegan’s text messages say otherwise.

But maybe you do care that in July, when Meghan, Chad and the victims’ families’ lawyer watched the video footage from the day of the shootings, they saw what appeared to be a security officer open the bathroom door while Justin, Keegan and the shooter were inside. The officer then closed the door and walked away. When the lawyer went public with it, the school board’s response was not outrage or remorse; it was self-defense.

Yellow school buses line up on Oxford Road. The sun has yawned itself awake. Another school year has begun. Kids stand outside Oxford High on August 25, carrying the clear plastic backpacks they were given after the shooting, waiting to go through their school’s newly installed metal detectors—seniors and freshmen, athletes and artists, best friends and future romantic partners … and standing in line with them: a sophomore named Keegan Gregory.

Keegan walks into school. He does not know that his mom is sitting in the parking lot, in her Kia Carnival, with the engine running, in case he texts and says he wants to go home.

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