RIVERSIDE, CA—In a meaningless discovery of no consequence whatsoever, archaeologists at the University of California, Riverside, announced Friday that their recent excavation of skeletal remains belonging to a human who walked the earth 2.7 years ago shed absolutely no new light on anything. “After conducting…
RIVERSIDE, CA—In a meaningless discovery of no consequence whatsoever, archaeologists at the University of California, Riverside, announced Friday that their recent excavation of skeletal remains belonging to a human who walked the earth 2.7 years ago shed absolutely no new light on anything.
“After conducting extensive tests, we have dated this wholly intact skeleton to early 2019, a period for which we require no further data of any kind because a comprehensive record already exists,” said Professor Melanie Spanwell, who led a team of more than two dozen researchers on a dig near the Yakima River in Washington State and helped recover the specimen that failed to tell scientists anything they didn’t already know about human activity in the region.
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