Dear Amy: At the beginning of the pandemic, my husband and I moved across the country. Our adult son was laid off and we invited him to move with us. Now, he gets upset when the subject of having him move out and be on his own comes up.
We decided to invite him to move with us to help him get on his feet again.
We just don’t know how to help our oldest son get to a place where he can live independently. What would you suggest?Dear Concerned: You should take this in careful stages. The message to your elder son should be, “Our goal is for both of our sons to live independently and to develop rewarding pursuits and relationships. We’ll help you get there.”
Your son should be seeing a therapist. You could start with therapy on your own and invite him to join you and your husband, with the goal to discuss how he is managing his disease, including the fears and challenges he anticipates, and ways you can be helpful .The National Alliance on Mental Illness is an invaluable resource. Check their “family members and caregivers” page for ideas and professional and peer support .
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