Dear Amy: How can we help her to understand that we want to help, and are happy to do so?
Dear Amy: My mother raised eight children. She is now in her late-70s, and lives alone.
People seldom talk about this, but for some, caregiving for an elder parent can be a traumatic and ultimately heartbreaking experience. For you and your siblings, I suggest that instead of leaping in with quick reassurances, you should make sure to listen and give your mother plenty of space to express herself. You might then say to her, “I know you have a lot to deal with right now, but can you say what you are most worried about in this moment?” She may need to cry and to express some universal and existential worries. Having loved ones able to listen calmly and bear quiet witness might help her.
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