Advice from Amy Dickinson.
I was adopted as an infant and found my birth mom when I was in my 30s. She had gotten pregnant in high school and gave birth to me at 17.
I don’t feel a connection to them, don’t consider them family, and find it very uncomfortable to be around them.Is there a way to limit contact without being unkind?My answer is that you don’t owe them anything – but the fact that you see the connection this way reveals the guilt you seem to be carrying. What an unfair burden!
It’s gotten to the point where if I go outside and see her, I promptly turn around and go to the privacy fenced backyard or go inside and wait for her to leave.
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