Does this dad have a right to not want his visiting college student daughter sleeping in the same room as her boyfriend?
My wife and I have a difference of opinion regarding our 20-year-old daughter. We would love your perspective. Our daughter is a sophomore at a university in Europe, and has recently started dating another sophomore student. When she comes home for the summer, he plans to visit.In conversations with my wife, I have indicated that I will expect him to sleep in our guest bedroom and for our daughter to sleep in her room during his visit.
Am I getting hung up by this country’s puritanical attitudes toward sex and my Roman Catholic upbringing, or is there some legitimacy to my desire to have them sleep in separate rooms?Yes, your reaction might be a puritanical thing, and also a Catholic thing. But mainly — it’s a dad thing. This is about dads and daughters, and the ancient and protective dynamic between them that seems to override logic. I have not noticed this particular dynamic between mothers and their daughters .
Yes, you know that your daughter and her boyfriend have sex, but as long as this happens elsewhere, you’d rather not think about it, thank you very much. Also, unless you’ve met this guy before, he is essentially a stranger to you. Letting a stranger sleep with your daughter in your own home violates your innate bond to protect her. The “legitimacy” of your reaction lies in the fact that you are having it.Understand, however, that this couple will sleep together.
This is your opportunity, however, to begin the process of letting go. It is a tough but necessary developmental step.I am a single man in my mid-40s. During the pandemic I started talking with a woman . We texted a lot and called one another often. We’ve also video chatted. Our relationship sort of fell off the grid, but recently she got back in touch with me. We finally agreed that it was time to meet in person. We agreed on the place and time to meet halfway between our homes.
Generally, it is wisest to meet in person soon after you feel a connection online. This helps to test whether both parties really want personal involvement.,” who was freaking out about some of the things her kid’s teenage friends were doing and who wanted to snitch on them to the parents. I was shocked when you said, truthfully, that a lot of this risk-taking is within the norm and that “good kids” do risky things.
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