Dear Amy: I am a divorced 52-year-old woman who is experiencing a disturbing situation. Men I meet for possible relationships have what I describe as argumentative personalities.
They are never agreeable with any topics that come up in conversation. The topics range from personal decisions to politics to differences between men and women.These men come across as misogynistic, condescending, critical of everything around them, and yet they see themselves as decent, normal, good guys who know how to treat women. They couldn’t be more wrong.
Dear Missing: At the risk of being accused of misandry, let’s state for the record that men undoubtedly also have a laundry list of gender-based frustrations with the women they are meeting. My take is this: Engaging in a peaceful and informative conversation has always been something of a rarity . Being with someone who listens with interest, who seems to “see” you, and who can challenge you without raising your hackles – these are qualities you enjoy in your deep and intimate friendships. This is what you’re looking for, and so your best bet might be to move off-line and to join groups and organizations where you can meet and get to know people gradually, IRL .
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