How to get your partner to change without making them feel lousy
“Receiving a request to change from a partner might lead to people feeling negative emotions because it may serve as a signal that they are not living up to their partner’s expectations or that their partner is unhappy with them or their relationship,” says Sisson. “If they disagree with their partner and think that they do not need to make the change their partner is requesting, this may also fuel conflict and resentment toward the requesting partner.
Sisson suggests two ways that changing partners can alter their perspective to better adapt to the change request: Reappraisal may also involve seeing the change request as a sign of their partner’s commitment to them and improving the relationship, which may be both more motivating and less upsetting.
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