Dear Abby: Grown son and his family take advantage of us

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Dear Abby: Grown son and his family take advantage of us
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We try to support our son and daughter-in-law, but we do not feel respected and loved in return.

When we invite them for dinner, they arrive an hour or two late or don’t show up at all. We send them text messages, but they don’t respond. We offer to help and are there for them when they ask us to be, regardless of our personal consequence. What can we do?When I read that your daughter-in-law told you that you weren’t invited to the special events surrounding Charlie’s birthday, my initial reaction was that she may have thought they would be too much for you and your husband to handle.

You may have raised your son well, but your daughter-in-law appears to be running the show. Her parents may take precedence on the hierarchy of importance, and if that’s the case, you and your husband need to clear the air with your son AND his wife, and sacrifice less when they snap their fingers.I have been working with a therapist on creating healthy boundaries with my family.

Here’s the thing: I have no interest in hearing about, helping to plan or being a part of the wedding because Maya and I have nothing in common other than our parents. She’s self-absorbed and rude. Her fiance is an introvert, so getting to know him is incredibly difficult. How do I politely convey this to Maya or my mother without causing hurt feelings?You may not be able to avoid hearing about the wedding if you are in communication with your mother and sister.

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