I have asked her to respect my choice and to stop criticizing, but she continues to contact me, asks to see me, accuses me of “punishing” her and my father over “nothing,”
My dilemma is whether I should continue trying to get through to her. I’d like to see her children, but I’m unsure whether she will respect my boundaries if I see her in person. Her continued haranguing is stressful. I’m tired of being labeled a punishing, overly sensitive shrew for attempting to set boundaries with my father. However, I’m loath to cut off all contact with her, given that I’m not seeing my dad.
DEAR FAMILY TROUBLE: Tell your sister you love her and would very much enjoy seeing her and her children WITH ONE PROVISO: You do not wish to discuss your fractured relationship with your father. Ask if she can respect your wishes, and make clear that if it would be too difficult for her, you will understand and not visit. You do not have to do ANYthing that makes you uncomfortable, and you should not allow yourself to be forced into contact with an abuser.
Incidentally, Mama and her husband do not send me Mother’s Day cards. I do not want her husband to think I consider him my father. I would feel disloyal to my father if I were to do what she’s demanding. Is my mother’s expectation reasonable? Should I send cards just because she wants me to? -- GRACIOUS ENOUGH
DEAR GRACIOUS: Send your mother and her new husband an anniversary card, as you would ANY friend or relative you wish to congratulate. That she would expect you to treat her new husband, a “new addition” to your family, as a father figure is ridiculous. Why are you texting him on Father’s Day? He never was and never will be your “father,” and I don’t think you should be arm-twisted into catering to Mama’s fantasy.
Norge Siste Nytt, Norge Overskrifter
Similar News:Du kan også lese nyheter som ligner på denne som vi har samlet inn fra andre nyhetskilder.
Dear Abby: Half-sister reveals herself to me; do I have to tell my dad?Your father may be unaware that he fathered a child at 17.
Les mer »
Dear Abby: I am in love with my bossDear Abby advises a woman who has fallen in love with her boss, and a mom concerned about her son’s relationship dynamic.
Les mer »
Dear Abby: I’m crazy in love with my married boss, and I told him soI think he’s starting to show some interest. What should I do if he asks me out?
Les mer »
Dear Abby: Mother is troubled by her 44-year-old son’s living arrangementIf you have shared your feelings with him and he has chosen to tolerate the status quo, then quit wasting your breath. It is his life and HIS CHOICE.
Les mer »
Dear Abby: I worry about my son’s living arrangementsHis girlfriend agreed when they moved in together that she would pay half the expenses. She hasn't.
Les mer »
Dear Abby: My mother’s fantasy seems like a betrayal of my fatherHer expectations concerning her new husband are unreasonable.
Les mer »