DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wonderful husband, “Alec,” for five years. ... My issue is Alec plans events, and then becomes stressed because the house or the food isn’t perfect.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wonderful husband, “Alec,” for five years. This is a second marriage for both of us. We raised children on our own and waited until they were out of the house to get into a relationship.
I hate this! Why would I spend all my time serving my family and cleaning up after them instead of enjoying BEING with them? In his defense, Alec does most of the prep and hosting on his events because I refuse to kill myself making sure everything is “perfect.” But even though he does most of the work, he’s obviously irritated the whole time, and by the time of the event, we’re barely speaking.
I have tried discussing it with him, and he says, “My mom was a perfect hostess. She made everyone comfortable, waited on them, etc.” You know what? I don’t CARE what his mom did. This is how I entertain, and I’m not going to kill myself and then have a miserable time. Am I unreasonable? -- DIFFERENCE OF STYLE
My problem is friends or acquaintances who consider themselves “huggers.” Their right to hug seems to trump my right not to be. When I tell them I don’t want a hug, they press the issue. Over the last two years, our country has been in a pandemic and we have been advised to stay six feet apart -- but even then, they still want to do it.
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