Dear Abby: My friend has cancer, I don’t know how to talk to her

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Dear Abby: My friend has cancer, I don’t know how to talk to her
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Dear Abby counsels a woman whose friend who has cancer, a woman who can’t get beyond her brother-in-law’s past, and a man whose memory is fading.

I have a close friend who was diagnosed with skin cancer. She had surgery a few days ago, and she will know within the next two weeks if it is gone. I am devastated. I don’t know what to do, to say or how to act.

I check in several times a day with her to ask what I can do. We usually talk about everything, but now she’s talking about death and dying. My heart is broken and I tear up when I think about it. I’d like to tell her what I’m feeling and how much I think of her but I don’t know how. —If you feel you can’t get out what you need to communicate to your friend without breaking down, put it in a letter to her.

My husband has pretty much dismissed it and remains very close to Brad. I have never been able to look at Brad in the same way, and I prefer to not be around him. My husband wants me to pretend it’s in the past and let it go, but I’m having trouble doing that. My aversion to Brad has grown more intense over the years. His sister still has issues, and I believe they stem from his abuse. I don’t know what to do. Help, please.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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