Our marriage has deteriorated due to not only the effect his illness has on his personality and behavior but also my struggle to get over the things he has done to me and our children in the past.
DEAR ANNIE: I have been married for almost 20 years. My husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about a year ago, but I suspect that’s what was going on with him for many years prior to the official diagnosis. He is also an alcoholic.
When manic, he will also bully and manipulate me in various ways. I know this is due to his illness, and he is trying to manage it and usually does a decent job with a notoriously hard-to-manage type of disorder. I have gone to great lengths to give him chance after chance to get his act together, and I have been extensively involved in his treatment plan and supportive of his choices that were meant to help him get better even when it was hard on the family.
I can’t help but wonder, though, does it make me a bad person and bad parent that I won’t do everything possible to keep our marriage intact for our children, considering his problems are due to an illness that is out of his control? He doesn’t want to be this way, but the fact is that this is who he is, and life with him is making me miserable. -- Wanting Out
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