Dear Care and Feeding: My Sister-in-Law Handed My 2-Year-Old a Lit Match

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Dear Care and Feeding: My Sister-in-Law Handed My 2-Year-Old a Lit Match
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She claims she would never let him get hurt, but her own kid was seriously burned recently.

My husband and I have been married for almost a decade, and it’s been a long journey to come to terms with shouldering the running of our household. I’m more particular about the cleanliness and organization, and I’ve come to understand how difficult my husband’s ADHD makes household tasks I assume are easy.

I have a hard time imagining explaining to my 7-year-old, “Mommy does all the laundry because she’s both conflict-averse and hates the way Daddy folds shirts … but it works for us!” I do think there’s value in not keeping score and in working hard even when it doesn’t seem fair .

The rationale was not to save money—she is a successful lawyer, my son is a successful architect. My daughter-in-law has many skills, but cutting hair is not one of them. Lately Kyle’s hair has been getting longer and longer, to the point that he looks unkempt and uncared-for. When I asked my son why Kyle was not getting a haircut, I was told he refuses to let his mother cut it, and she refuses to allow him to go to a barber.

I remember showers as being ladies-only events. I am a fan of the move toward having partners at these things, and I indicated that the party was for both of the expectant parents, and partners were welcome. One invitee responded that they would attend with partnerI was surprised that they assumed children were welcome, particularly at the home of a person they do not know.

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