Do Lovers Want Change or Familiarity?

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Do Lovers Want Change or Familiarity?
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Behind the psychology of lust versus love—and why keeping things exciting is not always necessary for long-term couples

compared to the first month of marriage, and declining more gradually thereafter. Decline has also been found in cohabiting, heterosexual couples and in gay and lesbian couples . While change tends to generate intense, short-term emotion, familiarity tends to produce a more moderate attitude, which can be long-lasting .

Change is commonly taken to mean becoming different, typically without permanently losing one’s characteristics or essence. Development is a specific type of change that involves a temporal process of improving by expanding or refining. The external change underlying intense love is a one-time, simple external event. The growth underlying profound love is continuous; hence, it is associated with moderate intensity, with occasional abruption of an intense one.

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