I felt bereft and lonely without the man who had been—and was still—my best friend.
The next day, my husband humored me as we set out on the town. But I sensed pretty quickly that my itinerary was too much for him. He got tired. The heat bothered him. We'd explore one quick spot and he'd be done.
He'd grown up in the country and loved to talk about his backwoods escapades as a child. I remember him leaping from pinnacle to pinnacle like a mountain goat on the cliffs of the Grand Canyon—a cautionary tale that I still use to tell our sons how not to behave. Our pre-child marriage was plagued by my anxiety and emotional fragility. But somehow, during those decades of parenting, our roles and personalities had reversed.
It was unfair for me to expect him to be who he was any more than I could go back to being the insecure young woman I'd been. I felt bereft and lonely without the man who had been—and was still—my best friend, but I wasn't going to let his newfound reluctance stop me. I've climbed mountains and kayaked. I've scaled glaciers, scouted for petroglyphs, ridden horses, and traveled a lot. Even though he wasn't at my side that day as I'd hoped, I was empowered with the accumulated knowledge that we'd gained together.
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