Everyone Still Remembers Time You Threw Up In 5th Grade

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Everyone Still Remembers Time You Threw Up In 5th Grade
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CHICAGO—Even now, more than 20 years after the humiliating childhood incident took place, everyone still gleefully recalls the time you got sick and projectile-vomited right in the middle of your fifth-grade class, sources reported Tuesday.

Despite having grown into a mature and responsible adult with a rewarding job and fulfilling home life, you will reportedly always be remembered as the chubby little kid who stood up from his seat midway through social studies class, muttered something about not feeling so good, and then suddenly puked all over himself.

"It went everywhere," said another former classmate of yours, who you had always just assumed had stopped talking about the embarrassing incident ages ago, but who instead continues to bring up the now 23-year-old story, laughing just as loudly and just as cruelly as he did back then. "And it was purple. Really dark purple."Added the man who will never see you as anything other than a walking punch line, "You could tell he had had grape soda for lunch.

"We used to laugh about him all the time," said the now 74-year-old woman, who despite momentary lapses into senility and dementia clearly recalls how gross the whole thing was. "The janitor used to sigh loudly and pretend to grab his mop every time that fat little kid walked by. It was like this little joke between the two of us. We had a bunch of really mean jokes about that pukey kid.

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