One Vogue editor on how fashion finally made space for her
The P.R. assistant looked up from her iPad and raised a single eyebrow as she appraised my outfit. Dressed smartly, but discreetly, I lacked the familiar trappings of Fashion Week peacocking: There was no It bag slung over my shoulder, no logo signage to transform my body into a chic billboard. Instead, I was armed with a notepad and my phone’s recording app, ready to get to work.
In the pre-woke world of 2006, fashion’s ideal body was one that molded itself to clothes and could adapt to seasonal whims. The idea that a woman might need to size up her dress—or that designers should attempt to dress all people—was far from the mainstream. This was the era when doll-faced waifs ruled the runways and Karl Lagerfeld dropped 90-some pounds because he wanted to wear Hedi Slimane’s Dior Homme suits—anything to make the designs work.
I wasn’t going to shop in any store where power tools and dresses lived on the same floor. Shut out of fashion’s low end, I responded by going aggressively preppy, my closet filled with Lacoste and Tommy Hilfiger polo shirts in every color of the rainbow, along with all manner of khaki and madras.
Over the years, my faith in fashion’s treatment of women’s bodies continued to erode, even as things were supposedly changing. Ad campaigns featured more plus-size models, while former colleagues forwarded me emails filled with “thinspo” dieting tips. Celebrities made grand statements about inclusion—one of them a daughter of rock royalty who, upon seeing me backstage at the season’s hot ticket, loudly remarked that she couldn’t believe they’d “let in the trolls.
Finding pieces that worked meant being diligent and creative. I’d dip into the men’s department for shirts I could alter, and beg my mother to pull out her old Singer sewing machine to help me rework ill-fitting womenswear. Almost continuously shopping, I’d sift through picked-over racks in Nordstrom’s plus-size department and save up to buy basics from the newly launched Universal Standard, the sole size-inclusive game in town.
Working from home, I cycled through the same set of Zoom-appropriate blouses so often that, finally, something snapped. My tried-and-true wardrobe suddenly seemed almost aggressively bland—so much so that the person on my screen looked ready to reject a mortgage application, or teach bible study. Perhaps that P.R. girl had been right all along: Maybe II resolved to use my time at home to reconsider my approach. Wardrobe updates were supposed to be fun.
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