DearPrudie: I really don’t want these people in my home.
My spouse “John” is quick to offer people to come to stay with us. For example, a few years back, one of his coworkers in another state told him she was homesick for the state we were living in, and John felt sorry for her. One evening, he comes home and asks me out of nowhere how I would feel if he asked this woman to quit her job and come move with us until she finds a job and place back here. This really bothered me, as he had told me many times that he’d never met Alice in person.
After this episode, we went to marriage counseling and even the counselor got upset with me. Every time I explained why I was uncomfortable with these guests, my answer wasn’t good enough. I had explained to my spouse while we dated that I was afraid of having people stay with us that only he knows or does not know so well. I explained how my father would bring violent people to our home, and it scared me as a kid. It’s like my spouse uses what I shared in private against me.
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