DearPrudie: Most of my co-workers are closer to my parents' age than my own.
When I was 15, my world exploded. My father had been having a years-long affair with my personal coach. In fact, the entire reason why he pushed me into the sport was to cover up the affair. It devastated my mother and showered me with crippling doubt about my own ability and self-worth. My coach talked about me being Olympic material and nearly all my free time went into training.
After the divorce, I refused to speak to my father and I gave up the sport. I had severe depression and even with therapy, it is very hard for me to look in the mirror and not see wasted potential. I am engaged. As an olive branch, I have been slowly talking again to my father. But I am not ready, and might not ever be, to speak to his new wife. In some ways, her betrayal hurts worst than what my father did. She exploited my dreams and ambitions and drove me to levels that left me with injuries.
Our marriage ended in 2019 because my ex had a late-in-life coming out and fell in love with a woman. She stated that she was a lesbian and we subsequently divorced. She has since remarried and her wife is a good stepmom to our kid. In the past year, my ex has made a habit of bringing up/commenting on “hot” men nearly every time I see her—actors, musicians, etc., and given our history around sexuality it’s really painful for me.
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