Do anxious thoughts dominate your daily life? Here are some healthy ways to regain control and have a more realistic perspective, writes sethgillihan
To break this pattern, Minden recommends being “a little more flexible in our thinking. The reality is generally more a matter of degree. Perhaps the bad thing will happen, but maybe there’s something I can do that will make it a little more manageable. Perhaps the worst will happen, but maybe something that’s not so bad will happen—or maybe even something good.”
Rather than focusing on what might go wrong, shift to how you’re going to cope. “You might say to yourself, ‘Perhaps it will be difficult to cope, and I may not be perfect in the way that I handle a challenging situation,’” said Minden, “‘but there are certain things I can do to be a little more effective if the bad thing happens.’”
With more helpful and realistic thoughts, we’re in a better position to face situations that we might otherwise avoid due to anxiety.Minden is well-acquainted with the desire to avoid things that are uncomfortable. “When people experience anxiety ,” he said, “it brings an avoidance urge.
But the problem with avoidance is that it all too easily can become a habit that’s hard to break. “When you avoid something uncomfortable, you get a little bit of relief temporarily,” said Minden, which the brain interprets as a reward. “The relief you feel strengthens the commitment to avoidance. And then it’s really hard to do the things that are important in life if you’re going back to avoidance every time a situation is anxiety-provoking.
,” said Minden. “It’s that confident belief that I have the capacity to do this—it may not be perfect, it may not be easy, I may struggle with the emotions—
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