Is it better if your reactions to anxiety are more automatic and emotional or more calm and practical? The answer isn't so simple. Here's why.
Being able to sit with some anxiety, instead of immediately trying to squash it.When I first began thinking about these ideas, I interpreted emotional functioning as bad, and intellectual functioning as good. It took me a while to realize that we wouldn’t have both modes of operating if they didn’t serve some evolutionary purpose. Leaning on relationships has helped us survive as a species, but so has being able to think for ourselves.
I cannot begin to describe how wonderful it feels to reclaim a little bit of “self” when navigating an anxious situation. Sure, it might feel difficult in the moment. But over time, challenges and relationships feel more navigable. You begin to feel less allergic to other people’s anxiety, and less responsible for them.
What’s your tuna on toast? Is it avoiding your family because they annoy the hell out of you? Is it chasing after praise to feel good about yourself? Is it overfunctioning for everyone when you feel ? When you become familiar with your automatic functioning, you begin to see opportunities to maybe do the opposite. Or to at least try something that feels a little bit closer to your better self.How do I put others in charge of managing my anxiety?What are upcoming opportunities for me to take myself off autopilot, and try to function based on intellect?
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