I am a Goth, and I Am a Mom, and I Am Proud

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I am a Goth, and I Am a Mom, and I Am Proud
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What happens when a high-drama, fashion-obsessed subculture hits middle age?

The lineup announcement for the 2022 Cruel World Music Festival put my fellow Gen X besties into a tailspin. “Is this real?” The texts poured in.

The Cruel World Festival, set to take over a golf course in Pasadena in May, 2022, was where we, the goths, belonged. No matter that goth, since its inception in the late 1970s, has gone through so much morphing and spawned so many subgenres that they’re scarcely a cognizant “we” at all.

At 17 years old, my hair was blue-black, or at least that’s what it said on the box of dye I’d bought at the drugstore. I’d teased it into a tarantula tangle, tendrils reaching for the sky like a thing alive. I creamed my face in Clown White, theatrical makeup meant to make me look as undead as possible . Paired with Elvira-brand black lipstick purchased in bulk at Halloween time, and some tubercular red eye shadow, I looked absolutely incredible. At least, I thought so. My environs—not so much.

WHITBY, UNITED KINGDOM - APRIL 13, 2019: Sarah, from Leicester, with her skull themed bag and shoes at the Whitby Goth Festival which was founded in 1994,Tragically, I missed Cruel World 2022; COVID got me, and I spent the day languishing in bed—very goth if you think about it—scrolling through online clips of Bauhaus’s Peter Murphy in a bejeweled crown, howling and growling and accepting his rightful place as red-hot granddaddy of goth.

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