I was shocked by how often I felt judged for the decision. Here’s why I did it.
The author with her fiancé, wearing the ring they chose together.
I never acknowledged these reactions, not wanting to bring any negativity into my post-engagement love bubble. But months later, after things settled down, those responses stayed with me, less because they bothered me and more because I couldn’t understand them. Were they judging me? And why? I put a callout on social media to see if anyone else in my orbit had had a similar experience. “I never really understood the whole thing of telling your sister exactly what you want so she can make sure your boyfriend picks a good ring,” said Grace Runowski, 32, of Mantua, New Jersey. “Why not just do that together, as the two people entering into a marriage?”
Conversely, my cousin Danit Ergas shared that she wasn’t initially over the moon about the ring her husband chose, and she regretted not being more involved in the selection process. “We find most people would prefer to receive their dream ring rather than be surprised with a ring they are not in love with,” O’Connel added.. Her estimate was even more staggering. She approximated that 70% of Ken & Dana’s engagement ring customers are couples who come into the showroom to shop together and “they will often purchase the ring with their partner present.
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