Dear How to Do It: My husband broke our one threesome rule—can I ever trust him again?
I am a woman happily married to a man, and we have three great kids. Up until two months ago, I would have told you I was straight. But then a female friend helped me after a car wreck. After I recovered, I developed a crush on her. At first, I tried to tell myself that it was just some sort of rescuer-rescued thing, but it made me take a hard look at how some of my preferences changed over time and whether I’m really sexually attracted to women as well as men.
People can be harsh and judgmental. Especially online. Remember that people are generally far less concerned with your individual identity than whateverhave going on inside them. And that even the most vitriolic online commenter is probably more polite in person. So try not to read too much biphobic rhetoric.
A few weeks ago, my husband mentioned that he’s been noticing some of his female friends getting into indie porn and content creation and hardcore promoting their accounts all over social media. He shared that he finds it interesting to see their personal interpretations on sex work. I agreed that it was interesting, and we talked about it for a few minutes. He mentioned one specific girl’s videos because they were very unique. We moved on; it didn’t bother me.
I woke up this morning feeling uneasy. I looked at his likes tab on Twitter and sure enough, he had watched and liked an anal video Unique Clip Girl posted last night. He likes clips as a way of bookmarking his favorite ones to come back to. So now I know he was jerking it to a video of a girl he used to sleep with. Now the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach has intensified, but I feel like a hypocrite for caring as much as I do.
If the conversation doesn’t go well, it might be worth seeing a sex positive couples counselor for some help in sorting out what’s going on between the two of you.I started a new relationship about six months ago. I care about him very much and love spending time with him. He is respectful in every other aspect of sex and life in general. But now, weeks later, it still bothers me that he did the hand thing at all. I even get angry at times. It makes me think about consent, and sometimes I question if he was doing something without my consent. Is this a red flag? I can’t tell if I’m just being hypersensitive due to my history, or if he should have known that what he was doing was inappropriate, or if it is even inappropriate at all.
Norge Siste Nytt, Norge Overskrifter
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