JERUSALEM—Moaning aloud and appearing to bleed profusely as He descended from the heavens, Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of Mankind, was reportedly still nailed to the cross Thursday when He returned for the Second Coming. “I always thought that when He came back He would float down from the sky on a cloud or something,…
JERUSALEM—Moaning aloud and appearing to bleed profusely as He descended from the heavens, Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of Mankind, was reportedly still nailed to the cross Thursday when He returned for the Second Coming.
“I always thought that when He came back He would float down from the sky on a cloud or something, but instead He was attached to the cross and He was screaming and then He face-planted—hard—on the Mount of Olives,” said Marcos Nasser, a local Christian who added that passersby had managed to set the cross upright, but when the Son of God asked them to remove the nails, they had shrugged, apologized for not having any tools, and wandered off.
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