“I had expected that at some point in my life — like in my 80s, maybe — my husband might have to help me get to the bathroom, but I thought I had decades to go before that happened. Instead, I was 27 years old”
Photo: J.V. Aranda Welcome to It’s Complicated, stories on the sometimes frustrating, sometimes confusing, always engrossing subject of modern relationships.
“Bed rest” seemed to be the physician-approved answer to all my questions concerning my hypothetical future pregnancy, but it didn’t sound like an answer I could live with. It wasn’t the pain I worried about — I’d experienced dozens of injuries in my life as a dancer, and I’d been in moderate to severe pain ever since my back injury had forced me into early retirement — but I already lived with a too-long list of physical limitations.
Sometime that afternoon, I woke up and desperately needed to use the bathroom. I tried getting up on my own, but the floaty, druggy bliss of just a few hours before had passed. It felt like someone had taken a hammer to my hip and then lit it on fire. My husband helped me steady myself on my crutches, and off I went to the bathroom on my own. Except I couldn’t move, and I couldn’t stop crying, and I really needed to pee.
I wasn’t having any fun, either. Recovery was taking longer than I thought it would. I was still in the brace, which felt like a chastity belt but for half my body, and I couldn’t pull up my own underpants without using an extra-long shoehorn I’d repurposed for the cause. I wanted to get back to who I was, but within a few months it became clear something was wrong.
After meeting with two new physicians, we started to piece together what had gone wrong during recovery: I’d been kept in the brace too long and developed severe tendonitis in my iliopsoas muscle, and I had new tears in my cartilage, new impingements, and bursitis, most of it a result of my surgeon failing to take my complaints seriously. I would need another surgery.
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