There’s room for only one jacked wrestler-cum-actor in Hollywood, and with the Rock’s reign slipping, John Cena has stepped up to take his place.
Academy Awards. I speak not of Cillian Murphy’s establishing himself as the leading man du jour, or Christopher Nolan’s ascendancy into a Spielberg-like box-office auteur, or even Ryan Gosling’s uncanny ability to find a brand-new way to be hot. No, instead, the Oscars proved, once again, that America is capable of sustaining the popularity of exactlyludicrously jacked former wrestler at a time, and in 2024 his name is John Cena.
You likely remember Cena’s appearance at the Academy Awards. It occurred in the midst of the show’s doldrums, when the technical achievements must be honored and momentum grinds to a halt. The producers typically come up with a gimmick or two to keep the audience engaged, and this year their solution was for Cena to present the Oscar for costume design while garishly nude, wearing only a pair of Birkenstock sandals.
Compare that to the Rock, also attending the show as a presenter, who mumbled a few toothless lines about cinema being a “global language” to preamble the International Feature category, alongside a flimsy joke about his co-presenter, Bad Bunny. It clunked in the room and on TV, which is the perfect corollary for the Rock’s current station in the business of celebrity.
Because, truly, there is only one more achievement a wrestler has yet to reach in Hollywood. Eventually, someone is going to need to brandish an Oscar as arather than a presenter, thus putting the art of professional wrestling adjacent to aureate, mainstream prestige. Cena has the inside track. Make the phone call, Christopher Nolan. Oppenheimer would’ve looked better with massive biceps
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