'And giving up dieting was the safest.'
For as long as I can remember, I've been on the diet train. When I was in middle school, I did Jenny Craig and Curves. When I was in high school, I ate Lean Pockets, Slim Fast and Diet Coke to try and shed the pounds. When I was in college, I graduated to only eating six strawberries for breakfast and a "salad" for lunch . I ate roughly 400 calories per day and burned 1,000+ calories on the elliptical every afternoon.
The problem is, so many people assume losing weight is healthy, unless you physically look stereotypically anorexic. In 2015, I decided enough was enough. I missed going to a clothing store and being able to pull anything off the rack and fit into it. I craved validity from people who didn't even know me. I didn't want to hate myself anymore.
I restricted so many types of food that I binged often, and then blamed myself for it. I quit drinking alcohol altogether, along with social outings. I thought about food at all hours of the day, creating low-calorie recipes in my head. I labeled food as "good" and "bad," completely ruining my relationship with food. I worked out so much, I injured my foot. I sucked in my stomach every time I saw a mirror, and then picked out the areas that needed improvement. I binged more.
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