Many people can name at least one person with whom they would like to reconnect. if the desire to reconnect arises on one side, doubts may arise about whether the other person may appreciate being contacted out of the blue.
In one experiment we conducted, college students wrote a note “to check in and say hello” to a classmate they hadn’t interacted with in a while. Then we asked them how much they thought their classmate would appreciate receiving this note.
We found that the students who received the notes were much more appreciative of the gesture than the students who wrote them had anticipated. Overall they yielded the same basic finding: People tended to underestimate how much others appreciated hearing from them. Comparatively, potential senders did not report focusing much on recipients’ positive feelings of surprise.
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