That seems fine if it’s a potluck dinner, but is it really okay to ask someone to bring $70 of liquor and groceries, and send them on a scavenger hunt, when inviting them over?
GENTLE READER: How about not asking the question? With all due respect to your upbringing, Miss Manners believes that it is time to stop this much-abused practice.DEAR MISS MANNERS: I teach at a small college where, before COVID, I would regularly meet prospective students and their parents in my office on campus.
I would welcome the student just as I would welcome anyone, and I would greet the parent distantly but politely, since while on campus I try to be nonpolitical. But if that parent were to extend a hand, can I -- and should I -- refuse to take it, perhaps with a polite “I can’t shake your hand”? In other words, as long as you do not intrude your politics into the situation, embarrassing, if not infuriating, your student as well as the parents.
She returns the items a few months after she receives them, telling me she has no use for them or she doesn’t care for the color. I put a lot of thought into these presents and I live on a fixed income. I feel shamed when she does this and don’t say anything back.
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