Guest resented a wedding’s black tie dress code – only for the groom and most of the guests to not wear tuxedos.
I received an invitation to the wedding of a colleague’s child. Every piece of correspondence noted, “This is a black-tie affair. Please dress accordingly.”
My husband finally borrowed a tuxedo from a friend, but not without multitudinous complaints about how pretentious it was and how uncomfortable he was in the tuxedo that I was “making him wear.” We arrived at the wedding to find that not even the father of the bride was in black tie. He had a beautiful suit, but it was not a tuxedo. The groom and his best man wore regular black suits with long black ties and white shirts . Everyone else of the male persuasion at the wedding was in either sport jackets with khaki slacks or in suits — not black tie, at least not the way I would have defined it. The women were in formal gowns, so at least half of us listened.
I saw him struggle for a moment, then I went over to him and gently grasped the tray and told him, “I’ve got this.” He said he had it, and, not expecting him to protest, I repeated it and took the tray. He silently left and I took care of it. Immediately afterward, I realized even though I was trying to be helpful, I don’t think I went about it the right way. I’m afraid I might’ve insulted him.— by assuming that you knew better and by ignoring his stated preference.
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