as I am still feeling the sting of being the last to know about the first divorce, is it better to ask outright or keep pretending I’m clueless?
I feel that the longer I act oblivious, the more it undermines my friendship with this new couple. I think they assume my “alliance” is with the first divorced wife, but I’ve said multiple times that that’s not true.GENTLE READER: Both of your goals -- staying friends with the remainder of the group and being up on the latest gossip -- are achievable, but require different approaches.
To accomplish the first, organize events with the now-smaller group without any questions or discussion about who is going home with whom. This will convince them that you still wish to be friends far more effectively than prodding into their new alliances. The second goal will happen without prompting when you take the wife of the second couple out for lunches. Miss Manners recommends against asking out the discarded husband unless you are willing to become the subject of the gossip.Miss Manners: I wish I had done better handling an awkward situationMiss Manners: Visiting family member opens the fridge and it’s too familiarIf you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation.
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