Miss Manners: Just because you can legally say it doesn’t mean you should

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Miss Manners: Just because you can legally say it doesn’t mean you should
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Plus: Should I have had to stand for the king of Norway or wherever?

Nobody wants it to be illegal to express one’s opinions. But all of us know people we wish would just shut up.

Some rules are obvious. If everyone talks at once, or if speakers are shouted down, no one is heard. If irrelevant topics are introduced, everyone will be there all night. But the difference between a personal attack and legitimate criticisms of individuals’ actions can seem vague. Miss Manners can tell the difference, but she cannot be everywhere at once.

The sanction that etiquette does have is expulsion from the activity that has been disrupted. In situations of the most serious contention — the justice system, the military and professional sports — this is backed up by compulsion. But in ordinary life, it usually leads to more contentiousness. But that brings us back to the problem itself: that this reasonable basis of democracy is being sabotaged.I was at a concert, and after intermission, the audience was asked to stand while the king and queen of Norway entered and were seated. Everyone stood instantly, but I did so reluctantly, not wanting to make a scene.

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