Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
I’m not well-off, and my friend is. She loves eating at nice restaurants. I can’t afford those, so I usually take her out for hamburgers. She knows my financial circumstances.
Should I refuse to accompany her? Or give up and figure that she can afford it, and that she doesn’t care that I can’t reciprocate?The latter is obviously the case, but you should still reciprocate -- just not in a restaurant competition. Unless you can find a really good restaurant that is not yet well-enough known to charge high prices.
But you needn’t; there are other ways to reciprocate. She must have interests besides eating well. You could give her a small, well-chosen present, such as a book that might interest her, or a gadget that could solve some problem she mentioned. Or volunteer to run an errand, saving her time or stress.
I was quoted in a newspaper, and people have mentioned to my husband that my statement resonated with their own feelings. One gentleman said, “Your wife is becoming more famous than you.”
Norge Siste Nytt, Norge Overskrifter
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