Miss Manners: My husband doesn’t understand why I was so mad at his friend

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Miss Manners: My husband doesn’t understand why I was so mad at his friend
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Plus: When ‘no offense’ doesn’t work.

We greeted our guests near the entrance to our private dining room, which was close to the head of the table. One of our guests made a beeline to the other end of the table and sat at what should have been my place. I was going to say something, but Husband gently took my hand and signaled I should remain silent.

Where I come from, it’s common knowledge that the host and hostess sit at the ends of the dining table. To usurp the hostess’s chair would be a great show of disrespect for the hostess and an insult to the host. Such an act could easily cause a feud. Telling guests what arrangements you have made for their comfort — for example, a seating plan that puts potentially compatible people together — is not offensive. On the contrary.

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