Word spread of my private transaction with the coffee machine’s owner.
My response was that my action was for myself, and not meant to reflect what anyone else should do; I framed it as just something that I felt was fair. Your thoughts, please.That “you” stressing the “you” are not doing a great job of convincing your colleagues — or Miss Manners — that what you deem fair does not reflect on them.
Really, it was not necessary for you to give your colleague money; it only pointed out, in a rather unseemly way, that this was a transaction and not a favor. As you are providing your own coffee pods, it is costing the owner nothing. Keeping up maintenance as you have done, and perhaps occasionally bringing in the kind of coffee he prefers, is all that is politely necessary — as well as offering to purchase the next machine when this one inevitably gives out.GENTLE READER:My wife and I received a lovely gift by mail with absolutely no identifying information. It is plausible, but not certain, that one of two wonderful couples who visited us last week sent it as a thank-you.
How would you word such an inquiry without suggesting that if it wasn’t them, they ought to have sent something? Obviously we want to thank the sender and send no negative message to anyone else.If not, Miss Manners suggests you take your chances on the couples by saying to one, “We received this lovely tree stump table with no identifying information. We were certainly not expecting presents, but of course want to thank whoever sent it.
If it was indeed one of the couples, you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right. Worst-case scenario, you get another tree stump.
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