Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: I was at a friend’s for dinner. There were seven of us all together, and the host and hostess are quite formal.
One of the guests did not eat anything on their dessert plate. Should they have told the hostess that they did not wish to partake, or accept the plate and just let the food sit uneaten? Yes, the guest who wanted to skip it could have said so, along with a gracious comment about how good it looked. But your reaction is exactly the reason why this would be risky. Those sympathizing with the hostess, as you did, or even the hostess herself, might have set up a bullying chorus of “Just this once,” “She went to a lot of trouble to make this,” and “Oh, go ahead, a little won’t hurt you.
“Partner” has often been construed to mean same-sex relationships and leads to awkward assumptions and incorrect pronoun use by others.
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