“He wanted to live in the apartment that I bought with my pre-marital money. I had to pay him partial attorney’s fees — so I had to pay for him to divorce me — as well as my own legal fees”
Photo: gaiamoments/Getty Images Despite the persistent myth that men get fleeced in divorce proceedings, statistics show that women are much more likely to take a financial hit if their marriage ends — particularly if they have children. According to a study by Stephen Jenkins, a professor at the London School of Economics, fathers see an income boost of about 30 percent after getting divorced, on average, while mothers experience a 20 percent drop.
We had disagreements about money even before we were married. When he first moved into my apartment, I suggested he pay half the expenses. Then he said, “But it’s your apartment. If you sell it, what am I going to get out of it?” I wanted the relationship to work, so I said, “Okay, just pay half of the bills then.” So we split some of the bills, but not the expense of living there. And that became a hallmark of our relationship: I never felt like he was paying his fair share.
My ex was the one who served me with divorce papers. He wanted full custody of our child and he wanted to live in the apartment that I bought with my pre-marital money. In the end, I had to pay him partial attorney’s fees — so I had to pay for him to divorce me — as well as my own legal fees.
According to our settlement, I had to give my ex-husband two years of spousal support, $160,000 total, as well as 13 percent of the house and 50 percent of what I had put into my retirement fund during our marriage — 11 years. He also didn’t have to pay child support for two years, and after that, he only had to pay $500 a month, which was then reduced to $300 a month because he claimed he couldn’t work, since he’d stopped working for so long that he had lost his clients.
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