Dear How to Do It: One of my girlfriend's friends slapped me across the face when she heard about our sex life.
I think the first step is to figure out what you really want. Do you want to repair the sexual portion of your relationship with your husband? Do you want to start over with someone you’re feeling the attraction of novelty to? Make lists of pros and cons, talk to trusted friends, go for walks, take showers or baths. All the things that help you think. Take your time. This is a big decision, and it’s very unlikely that you can have both any time soon.
I’m glad to see you acknowledge that you’re in a relationship. You’re spending time together, you’re in each others lives, and you’re having sex. There’s definitely a different category of relationships that tends to escalate towards a long-term, committed bond. But you’re significant to each other. It’s natural to feel emotions towards people you’re having sex with.
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