Dear Care and Feeding: I've started to dread their visits.
Here’s the issue: Etta’s parenting style is very different from mine, and it’s been causing some tension and unpleasantness when her kids are at my house. My husband and I are pretty focused on environmental sustainability and stewardship. We’re vegetarians, practice intense recycling/composting, and prefer to reuse or repurpose old materials rather than throwing stuff away and buying something new. Our kids generally do these things too.
When Etta’s kids are at my house, they constantly push back and whine about how “gross” composting is, how “weird” our multigrain bread is, or point out how my kids tend to have older clothing. They also brag about their newest gaming system. My kids have overreacted by crying and refusing to play with them. I’ve tried to de-escalate and mediate but it’s not working. This has happened a few times now and I’m at a loss.
I’ve started to dread these visits and I hate that. What can I do to help both my nieces and my own children accept the others’ way of life without judgment or drama?I think this needs to start with a frank conversation with your sister.
Don’t budge if she shrugs you off for overreacting or gaslights you into believing her kids would never behave that way. Also, you must follow through if the unwanted behavior continues, even if it makes things uncomfortable between your families for a while. If she’s intellectually honest and values your relationship, she already knows that her kids aren’t being nice, and she’ll do whatever she can to correct them.
Sometimes, the “nice guy” approach to getting people to change won’t work, so don’t feel bad if you have to be more heavy-handed. The goal is to provide a firm reminder for how you choose to be treated, especially in your own home.I live in a big city. I usually shop at the same supermarket where the employees and customers are all friendly and familiar with one another.
Norge Siste Nytt, Norge Overskrifter
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