He sure does love to sit on the couch, on his phone.
I need help to break a bad family pattern I’m in with my older brother Alan. He and I are both single adults in their late twenties who live independently from our parents. We both have decent jobs, with him making significantly more money working in a tech field.
Despite him being well set up in life, Alan contributes nothing to family holidays. He stays with me for free when he visits from out of town, doesn’t help my mother and me cook even though she asks, accepts presents but brings none, and generally has a full on case of revertigo whenever he visits. I would chalk that up to him just being inconsiderate, but he somehow manages to rise to occasion whenever his church or roommates need something.I have tried various ways to survive the holidays.
Part of the trouble is Alan seems to think we are exactly equal in life, so we should just revert to the dynamic we had as kids. Where I would plan everything, help out with tasks, and he would just sit on the couch on his phone. I don’t want to go back to how it was when we were kids. How do I start the next family visit off on a better foot?Alan is an adult, whether Alan behaves like one or not, and it’s not your responsibility to do these things for him.
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