On TikTok, users are discussing the mental health risks of motherhood more candidly than ever, as the specter of loneliness hangs over parents and child-free people alike.
While Chantelle Hibbert was pregnant, her family painted a rosy picture of motherhood — all butterflies and rainbows.found herself with “literally no support.” Friends and family stopped contacting her. She quit her job to take care of the twins, and her partner was traveling for work. In some moments, she felt so alone that she wondered if parenthood was the wrong decision.
TikTok’s signature unpolished style makes it easy for new creators to jump in, users say, while the app’s stitch function lets people cite each other’s videos and have back-and-forth conversations. Moms aren’t the only people using TikTok to discuss parenthood and loneliness. Kierren Garcia, a 28-year-old from Tacoma, Wash., uses the app to make videos about her decision to remain child-free, she said. Garcia started keeping a list of the reasons she doesn’t want children after seeing. No. 1 is the expense, Garcia said — her sister paid $30,000 out of pocket to have a baby and even got an upcharge for “skin-to-skin contact” after delivery. The threat of loneliness comes in at No.
Feeling misunderstood by friends, families and health-care providers is another cause of loneliness for moms, Kennedy added. She and others spoke of widespread attachment to an idealized version of motherhood — one where moms are always happy and children are an eternal antidote to loneliness.On TikTok, people with and without children interrogate those ideals, often for a broad audience.
TikTok’s design helps mothers connect with each other and feel less alone. But for some parents with mental health conditions, who are vulnerable to judgment and negative messages, the content could make things worse, PSI’s Davis said. A viral list of pregnancy risks may be informative for one person, but it can be devastating for another, said Davis, who struggled with postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter.
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