Opinion | Dr. Madeline Levine: Parents, stop worrying about your kids' anxiety. They need some stress to learn to cope with it. - NBCNewsTHINK
What they may eventually develop, though, is an anxiety disorder — the end result of being denied any opportunity to learn from experience and see themselves as resilient and capable.
If accommodating to our kids’ anxieties isn’t helping them and is in fact disabling them, what might actually help? We can acknowledge our own anxiety and how it impacts our parenting. We can calmly work to distance ourselves from practices that undermine our children’s growth. We can actively promote a love of learning and risk-taking in our children, even if it means loosening up on the demand for high marks in every class, or excelling in every club a kid attends.
And we can refrain from fanning the flames of our children’s anguish about a party they didn’t get invited to, the soccer team they didn't make, or the A they didn't get. We can refuse to give in to — or give voice to — our own fears about how these minor, short-term troubles could supposedly derail our long-term plans for them.
We need to build confidence in our kids by showing them that we have faith in their capacity to manage challenges: there is value in statements like “I think you can handle it” and “You’ve got this” when they’re tackling things just a bit challenging. Showing our confidence in our kids encourages the development of confidence in them.
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