Awkward turtle.
"Being in a dead-end relationship/situationship and having that awkward maintenance sex toward the end.""If you're like me, you sweat fairly easily, so being on top means I'm dripping off my face, and usually, it's landing in or around my girlfriend's eyes and mouth.
We've often talked about a sweatband, but I'm not sure if it would increase passion, or cause laughter.""I'm a little concave in the chest, and sometimes, when we are close together, an air pocket happens, and it makes the best fart sound ever.""My boyfriend and I have a habit of having sex after eating a meal, and it almost always results in cramps. Doesn't stop us from doing it over and over again.
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