Carolyn Hax: Cancer patient wants others to grasp this might be the end
How do I get the people in my life to confess out loud that this could, and in all likelihood will, kill me? Everyone around me is insistent on being optimistic and denying the truth that this disease kills people every day, and I could be one of them. I try to talk to them about what will happen to my things, and what their plans are when and if I die of this, just as if I were hit by a bus, but they stick their heads in the sand and refuse to have the conversation with me.
Your question is, why? And my answer is, I don't know. I can guess, though: You live in a society that can't get enough of fictional death, but prefers the real thing to be pat, antiseptic and offstage. The difference may be as simple as the ability to click “off” when the emotions start feeling too real. They might even think their forced optimism is a favor to you.
You probably can't call people cowards as easily as I can — you want openness about your impending demise, after all, not enthusiasm. However, I do think you want to use almost that level of bluntness to get your point across.As your “somewhat wonderfully” observation suggests, you have clarity, urgency and courage on your side here. Gather these up, then recruit two more allies: specificity and selectivity.
Ideally, it wouldn’t come to this, I know. Ideally, people wouldn’t try to escape life’s inescapable fact. But, ideally, you wouldn’t be sick. I am so sorry you are. Be with people as you have been with cancer: unflinchingly matter-of-fact.Advice columnist Carolyn Hax and cartoonist Nick Galifianakis have collaborated on their Washington Post column for 25 years.
Norge Siste Nytt, Norge Overskrifter
Similar News:Du kan også lese nyheter som ligner på denne som vi har samlet inn fra andre nyhetskilder.
Perspective | Carolyn Hax: How to stop being ‘that jealous, overbearing mate’?His girlfriend’s guy friends make him 'freak out internally.' He wants to stop worrying she will meet someone else and leave him.
Les mer »
Perspective | Carolyn Hax: How to stop being ‘that jealous, overbearing mate’?His girlfriend’s guy friends make him 'freak out internally.' He wants to stop worrying she will meet someone else and leave him.
Les mer »
Top Chef Houston Episode 14: Technique trumps soul in finaleEven though the ending wasn’t the one I wanted, I rejoiced each week at seeing Evelyn...
Les mer »
Fetterman says he ‘almost died,’ but cardiologist says his prognosis, despite ignoring medical advice, is now goodA cardiologist who examined John Fetterman after his stroke said he has a type of cardiomyopathy, a heart disease that makes it harder for the heart to pump blood around the body. 'If he takes his medications, eats healthy, and exercises, he’ll be fine.'
Les mer »
These Foolish Things Remind Us of Them'Some things hold surprising power. This paper bag with a black magic marker scrawl told a story of love and life and dinner.' SophiaDembling on grief
Les mer »
S.G. Goodman's Rustic Hymnals Double As Calls To ActionThrough rustic rock, SGGoodmanKY blends her background in philosophy with political calls to action and intimate heartbreak, all of which have shaped her perspective as a queer artist
Les mer »